I’d like to make love to you.
I’d rather we skipped straight to the post-coital cigarette.

Can I bury my head in your cleavage?
Just bury your head.

Can I pinch your bum?
Can I pinch your wallet?

Can I see your tits?
No, they’ve just migrated.

If I could see you naked, I’d die happy.
If I could see you naked, I’d die.

My issue is that I love learning however I hate revising for exams and would rather spend moments of my mortal fleeting existence enjoyably and as comfortably as possible…